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| LSPOA plans to pirate sand away from Longboat Key with a powerful dredge |
Topping the list... self dredging. That's right. Starting next week, the board has hired "The John Wayne", a massive, sand devouring dredge to arrive off the Longboat Key shoreline. The dredge will then begin, under the cover of darkness, pumping the newly renourished sand from Longboat Key directly onto our beach.
At sunrise each day, the 50-ton floating Gulf gulper will motor 10-miles offshore, out of sight of prying eyes. The undercover operation, code named Sneaky Sands, is expected to take just one-week to add 25-cubic yards of pristine new shoreline to our sand starved beach. The Board is still working on just how to pay for the monumental undertaking, but expect to see a "slight" increase in next year's Annual dues.
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| LSPOA Pavilion high and dry |
"Pav" on Stilts
Next on the agenda... putting our beloved Pavilion on stilts. Yes, even with the addition of newly pirated sand, environmental experts predict that by 2019, erosion will once again threaten the Pav's existence. So, to head off the inevitable, the board unanimously voted to raised the Pavilion 35-feet. "That should keep us high and dry for at least the next five years, while conforming to current building codes," predicted one elated resident.
An engineering study is now underway. One FSU idea is being modeled after a lighthouse concept. That would mean adding a spiral stairway to the top, with a 250-watt halogen bulb mounted on the roof. The Pavilion would double as a navigational beacon for boaters using New Pass. A glass enclosed elevator is also being considered, with weekly sightseeing tours scheduled to help defray costs.
The image shown above depicts a more economical "tree house" version that's also being considered. Again, LSPOA board members caution to look for "slightly" higher annual dues after the project gets underway this spring.
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| "OPEN... OPEN... OPEN" |
How many times have you walked or driven to the Westway Drive beach gate only to realize you forgot your clicker? Well, worry no more. Currently in final testing is the “Mind-Controlled Gate Opener” or McGO.
The new system allows paid-up LSPOA members to operate the inner and outer gates simply by thinking the words, “OPEN... OPEN... OPEN” when within 15-feet of either gate.
A minor out-patient procedure will be required to implant each transmitter, but thanks to the generosity of a neighbor with a long career as a respected surgeon, this will be done at no cost to members.
Your current clickers will still work for visiting friends and family. Expect McGO to be available in time for the July boat races!
High Tech Poop Stations
The seasonal springtime dilemma of who's dogs are indiscriminately pooping on our streets and front yards is now finally being addressed. New high tech Poop Stations are being installed on the corner of every intersection in Lido Shores. So as not to be unsightly and fit in with the decor, each station will look like a pet friendly fire-hydrant.
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| High tech poop station hydrant and dog washer |
The hydrants will feature a solar powered automatic poop bag dispenser, a self composting receptacle and a dog washer. A computer activated voice will praise your pooch each time he's a good boy or good girl. Using A1 learning technology, the computerized poop hydrants will be able to learn your pups name and dole out praise accordingly.
We hope you enjoyed this HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! edition. All in good fun from your slightly stilted and off-kilter LSPOA website editors and Communications Committee.
~BT
bthill@icloud.com
~JM
jminker@icloud.com
~EH
emh3210@comcast.net
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