Lido Shores Pooperazzi Patrol

Westway Drive Curb Accessory

Lido Shores.  It’s a virtual haven for Sarasota modern architectural style—a collective collaboration of natural beauty and creative minds—and, quite sadly, a resplendent repository of pet refuse.  Beneath our soaring whitewashed walls and Spanish tiles lie the not so decorative deposits of man’s best friend. Canine excrement. Dog poop. Call it what it is, dog s@#t! And it adorns the lawns, and curbs, and shells, and streets of our discerning neighborhood, as callous owners actually believe their Fido’s mess doesn’t necessarily stink, or blight our neighborhood. Be assured, it does.

Westway Lawn Ornament

After weeks of rationalizing that—what the heck, in the scheme of life, does it really matter—your editors reluctantly decided to tote a camera and canvass the hood. Just moments after starting out, we spied a group of tourists excitedly photographing the famed Phillip Hiss Library house on Westway. We, however, were embarrassingly aiming our sights a little lower, focusing instead on the noticeable piles of lowbrow yard art so thoughtfully left behind for others to admire.

Don’t get us wrong, here. As dog owners, too, we aren’t exactly thrilled about the prospect of daily follow behind patrols, deftly, and more often than not, clumsily scooping our dog’s left behinds into not so cutesy plastic doggy bags. But like it or not, it’s the courteous, respectful and lawful thing to do.

Lido Shores poop problem isn’t exactly new. It’s a tiresome—can’t you think of something more important to bitch about topic—sort of like a parking ticket, that most of us try to ignore. But it’s enough of a nuisance that cities around the country, including Sarasota, have spent time enacting laws in an effort to curb the pernicious practice. For example, here’s the official sounding Sarasota city ordinance:

Sec. 8-30. - Removal of dog excrement. - It shall be unlawful for any person who owns a dog, or for any person who has charge, custody, or control of a dog, to fail to remove feces excreted by the dog on public or private property, other than property of its owner. Such person shall carry with them plastic bags or other containers for removing and disposing of the feces in a lawful and sanitary manner. (Ord. No. 07-4715, §§ 2, 3, 12-4-06)    

Driveway Art

On our recent Saturday morning stroll—yes, we do have better things to do—we counted more than a dozen code violations, if you will. There were even a couple of discarded poop bags, left by thoughtful dog owners whom, we assume, believe their neighbors will gladly pick up for them.  There are also fines for these stealth scofflaws, from $300 for a first offense to $500 for a third offense. We can’t imagine what a fourth offense might bring, but by then, you’d think the offender would get the hint.

A quick scan of the Internet reveals that our not so little Lido secret is big business. There are lots of companies cashing in on the overripe rancor, selling yard signs like: "I'll buy you a beer if you PICK IT UP!" and "Don't be lazy, our country (city / neighborhood) has enough problems".  Others on the web write esoterically about the existential meaning of canine do-do, as in a site devoted to the French derivative of the word curb, or, “curb your dog.” Curb came to be synonymous with control or restraint, and in the old days, if you didn’t want someone to fall into your well, you would put a brick curb around it to “restrain” people from falling in. Fast forward to the 20th century and curb evolved to mean a border to keep cars from driving on sidewalks.  

But judging by our recent Lido Pooperazzi tour, some not so well meaning dog owners mistakenly think that when a sign reads, “curb your dog,” it means making sure your pooch poops near or on the street curb. We’d prefer you lose that lame excuse and really curb, or control, or restrain your dog, and when the inevitable occurs, don’t pretend it’s a gift to be shared by all those who pass. Pick it up. Really.

It won't pick itself up!

Some neighborhood associations have resorted to hiring professional pooper-scoopers to do the dirty work that lazy neighbors won’t, while others are turning to technology and installing surveillance cameras to monitor and expose the selfish shysters. And there’s always the ubiquitous shame list, entitled: Reasons You Need to Pick Up Your Hound Droppings.

▶ Dog poop is NOT fertilizer! Dog poop left in the yard can burn your grass with high levels of protein.

▶ Dog poop will contaminate groundwater runoff and is proven to decrease oxygen and increase ammonia levels in our local waterways.

▶ Dog poop attracts unwanted pests and insects.

▶ Dog poop can transmit diseases like the deadly parvovirus and worms to other dogs and children.

▶ Dog poop stinks! And it can get carried into your house if someone steps in it.

Center Place Pile

Most Lido Shorians are responsible owners, respectful of others and do the right thing by picking up after their pets. But sadly, there remain those among us who imperiously believe that by right of birth they are above such a mundane task—or those, who by sheer arrogance, imagine they are not, and should not, be expected to remove their precious dog’s excrement from our yards and streets. Still others might simply be ignorant of the law or so self absorbed that they don’t care what our neighborhood looks, or smells like.    

We would prefer not to believe it. But, day after day, there’s proof. So we humbly appeal to your better self in hopes you might recognize that you should really care about your neighborhood, and leave it like you found it. A better place.   

~BT